Cheesing My Brains Out
by jinkiez
Summary: Kenny realizes that getting cheesed isn't always such a blast. Especially when theres boob goblins involved.


_What the hell did I write this?_

* * *

Kenny stood before the beast, his last possible seconds of life fleeting before him as the giant, triple-boobed goblin bore it's teeth and hissed at him. Several other boob goblins had gathered nearby and surrounded the scene.

"Appeal to the boob goblin God!" the monster spat, it's face contorted into a nasty snarl. "Tell me why I should spare your life. Or else you shall become my snack!"

The little boy lifted his orange hood and looked up. He wasn't sure how he got here, but he definitely didn't feel like being ripped apart by the monstrous thing standing in front of him. It's claws were sharp, and they perched before him as if ready to pounce at any moment.

He looked up to the orange sky and the sand dunes surrounding him. Was this real life? The last thing he could remember before ending up here was the sound of an angry cat's screams.

"You have 5 seconds to speak, before I consume your entrails!" the thing roared, it's voice booming and trembling in all directions.

"Wait!" Kenny called out. "Please don't eat me. I'm just a poor boy..but I beg that you let me live!" he cried.

"Bararwhbla!" the crowd shouted, an unknown language. Or perhaps it was just a war-cry. "Kill him!" several voices yelled. Sand and rocks were flung from all directions at the boy. He cowered and covered his face with his hands, then looked to the lord goblin.

"No! But I can help you!" the boy in the orange coat pleaded.

A deep growl escaped from the creature's belly as he responded. "Help _me_? How so, young rat? I have all the titty gold in the world. I am king of this land!" the boob goblin lord boasted with a chuckle. "I laugh at your feeble attempts. Now prepare to die!" The other boob goblins screamed and cheered in unison as they awaited the violent showdown.

"Fine, do as you must!" Kenny yelled bravely as the creature lurched towards him. "But if you don't eat me, I'll help you score with the boob princess!" he said, hoping that it would work charm into the ugly monster's heart.

The boob goblin lord stopped and hesitantly retracted his bony claws from the boy. "..I..I don't believe you." it spoke suspiciously.

"I'm serious! I know her father. We got high together once." Kenny said.

The powerful, fear-inducing snarl across the monster's face faded and it's expression turned into something..less confident, perhaps? "But...she's super hot. The princess would never go for a goblin such as me." it's deep voice sighed.

"If I can get the boob princess to go on a date with you, will you free me?" Kenny backed away from the monster slowly, hoping that his plan would work.

The monster scratched it's wart infected chin, then shrugged. "I suppose." the lord snarled.

"Kickass!" Kenny shouted. He was about to run away, but the crowd of monsters surrounding him refused to let him pass. They shot nasty looks and hissed at him as he tried to escape.

"Not so fast, human imbecile!" the largest monster shouted. "How do I know this is not a trick?"

Kenny turned, unsure of what to say. "Because..if I don't return with the princess..then you can send your warriors to capture me?"

The warrior boob goblins let out fierce cries and raised their spears to the sky.

While glaring at him suspiciously, the boob goblin lord glinted his eyes at his prey. "Fine. If you do not return within 24 hours, you shall become my delicious meal! Might I add, I am _very _hungry right now and my craving for humans is strong. Not too many of your kind stop by here often. Now go, before I reconsider this deal!"

Kenny lowered his head and turned to walk away. The crowd separated and watched hungrily as the foreign human started off towards the sunset.

He trudged through the desert sand, his feet sinking further with each step. He walked for miles before reaching the center of Nippopolis. Just before he entered the city, a gang of one-eyed, nipple faced ghouls caught sight of him and growled. "Hey! It's the traitor that promised us titty gold if we didn't eat him!" one of the fat ghouls pointed out. "TRAITOR! LET'S GET HIM!" another voice screamed.

"AHHH!" Kenny screamed. He turned and ran as fast as he could, the sun burning his vision as tried to escape. It became brighter and brighter until Kenny was forced to close his eyes from the glare. When he opened them again, he saw nothing but white. The screaming voices were gone, and the bright gleaming of sunshine was now beating off the snow around him. Cold wetness seeped through all his clothes and a chilly wind blew against his face.

He twitched and scratched at his head, sitting up in the pile of snow. After taking a glance at his surroundings, he realized he was in the middle of nowhere. There were twigs and dirt in his hair and trees all around. What the hell was he doing here, again?

"Damn..I'm never cheesing this much again." he swore to himself.


End file.
